Feb 3-4 24
Had a big day sort of by accident. I went to the big hip artsy meeting and some sort of famous guy spoke. I know hes famous but I’ve never really known why. I think hes doing a streetwear line now. Nothing too interesting. It was a great meeting though, tbh. I didnt sleep well and I had had the pregnancy scare so I felt sort of strange already, but I had a good time hanging out w people after the meeting. I’m not gonna name names but I’m getting exhausted with how many people have the same problems with the same contours each time I see them, but I suppose this is one of those steadfast rules of existing as a human- the patterns of behavior are repeated. After the meeting I tried to write in the library to mixed success, and then I gave up and had to go pick up something from a gallery I’m friends with- I had made an ornament for their christmas tree and it didnt sell, which doesnt shock me, but meant i had to get it out of their hair. After that I did a brief errand and saw someone I knew a tiny bit from the outside world, but had seen in an AA meeting, so I brought it up and we talked very briefly. Hes always been really obnoxious when I’ve seen him in public but when I saw him in the meeting he all but said “im struggling to not be obnoxious” so I want to be nice to him. After that the library was closing. I had planned to stay till 8 bc J had forgot it closes at 5 on Saturday. I wrote up in the weird balcony section of Essex Market, which is kind of a terribly dinful place to work, but I sort of locked in and wrote 10 pages of Lenz adaptation. I was doing this monologue that is possibly the most famous part of the novella because it has Lenz talking about his opinions on german idealism and art, and so its relevant as it may elucidate Buchner’s aesthetic principles.
Eventually my friend met up with me and we went to the Lomex opening and it was all the usual suspects and I have little to say about that or the art. It was fine. There was a guy wearing a trump hat and also a man who may have been pretending to be a non english speaker (heavy asian accent) who was harrassing women. I don’t really know how to explain it but it seemed like he may have been trolling. Strange thing to do either way. I dont know. Maybe he was just a foreign creep. Maybe if I was nonwhite I would try to do something similar, but I hope I would be nice and polite to women. After the opening we went and saw Salo at the lincoln center. I feel like I should have a lot to say about it, but mainly I just felt bummed that it was so much less full of life than the other Pasolini films I’ve seen, and clearly just his most famous for being grotesque. Even the grotesque stuff, while disquieting and disturbing is not anywhere near as visceral as the snuff films I’ve been exposed to on the internet- rotten.com and ebaums world, and recently twitter. It was funny to see this group of dorky intellectuals half heartedly clap at the end of a movie about making teenagers eat diarrhea. I think theres a deeper critique at something I can’t quite describe in words in the whole experience than Pasolini could have unlocked in 1975.
Today I’m at work for a wedding with a very self sufficient DJ, which means I will not be doing much today. Hopefully I can sneak away and write some Lenz. I’m having muscular spasms and may have been having heart palpitations last night. I’m extremely sore from excercising my shoulders and hip adductors/abductors. Would much rather be laying in bed.